CPC Report; An unabashedly liberal perspective

25 December 2012

The Cotton Patch Version of the Birth & Childhood of Jesus (From the Cotton Patch Gospel by Clarence Jordan)

Book of Mathew

 18. The beginning of Jesus the Leader was like this: While his mama, Mary, was engaged to Joseph, but before they had relations, she was made pregnant by the Holy Spirit. Since Joseph, her fiance´, was a considerate man and didn't want to make a public scandal, he decided to quietly break up with her. As he was wondering about the whole situation, a messenger from the Lord came to him in a dream and said, "Joe Davidson, don't be ashamed to marry Mary, because the Holy Spirit has made her pregnant. Now she'll give birth to a boy, who you'll name Jesus,  because he will deliver his nation from their errors."

22. This whole event was the completion of what the Lord had said through the prophet: "Listen, a young lady will get pregnant and give birth to a boy, and they'll name him 'God-is-with-us.' "

24. Then Joseph woke up and did as the Lord's messenger had directed–he married the girl. But he didn't sleep with her until she had her baby. And he did name it Jesus.


1. When Jesus was born in Gainesville, Georgia during the time that Herod was governor, some scholars from the Orient came to Atlanta and inquired, "Where is the one who was born to be governor of Georgia? We saw his star in the Orient, and we came to honor him." This news put Governor Herod and all his cronies in a tizzy. So he called a meeting of the big time preachers and politicians, and asked if they had any idea where the Leader was to be born. In Gainesville, Georgia," the replied, "because there's a bible prophecy which says:

                        'And you Gainesville, in the state of Georgia,
                        Are by no means the least in the Georgia delegation;
                        From you will come a governor,
                        Who will wisely guide my chosen people.' "

7. Then Herod called in the scholars privately and questioned them in detail about the exact time of the star's appearance. And he sent them off to Gainesville with this instruction: "Go and find out the facts about the child. Then tell me what you've learned, so that I too may come and honor him." They listened to the governor and left. And you know, the star which they saw in the Orient went ahead of them until it came and stood above the place where the child was. (Just looking at the star flooded them with great happiness.) So they went inside the house and saw the baby with his mother, Mary. They bowed down and honored him, and opened the presents they had brought him–gifts of jewelry, incense and perfume. And having gotten the word in a dream not to revisit Herod, they went back to their own country by another route.

13. After they had checked out, the Lord's messenger made connection with Joseph in a dream and said, "Get moving and take your wife and baby and highball it to Mexico. Then stay put until I get word to you because Herod is going to do his best to kill the baby." So he got right up, took the baby and its mother and checked out by night for Mexico. He stayed there until the death of Herod. (This gave meaning to what the Lord said through the prophet: "I summoned my son from Mexico.")

16.Then it dawned on Herod that he had been duped by the learned men, an he really blew his top. He gave orders to kill all the babies in Gainesville and thereabouts who were under two, on the basis of the schedule which he had obtained from the scholars. (Then the saying of Jeremiah the prophet was given meaning:

                        "A noise is heard in Ramah,
                        Great weeping and anguish;
                        Rachel is grieving for her children
                        And there's no consoling her,
                        Because she has lost them.")

19. Now when Herod passed away, the Lord's messenger contacted Joseph in Mexico by a dream. "Get moving," he said, "and take the child and his mother and return to the South, for the people who were trying to take the boy's life have died."

21. So he packed up and took the child and his mother, and returned to the South. He heard that Herod's boy Archelaus was governor of Alabama and so he was scared to settle down there. He was given instructions in a dream to go on over into south Georgia to the city of Valdosta. (This gave meaning to the prophet's word: "He shall be called a Valdostan.")

Don't you know it's Christmas

It's Christmas time.
There's no need to be afraid.
At Christmas time.
We let in light and we banish shade.

And in our world of plenty.
We can spread a smile of joy.
Throw your arms around the world
At Christmas time.

But say a prayer.
Pray for the other ones.
At Christmas time it's hard
But when you're having fun

There's a world outside your window,
And it's a world of dread and fear.
Where the only water flowing
Is the bitter sting of tears.

And there won't be snow in Africa this Christmas time.
The greatest gift they'll get this year is life.
Where nothing ever grows, no rain or rivers flow.
Do they know it's Christmas time at all?

Here's to you raise a glass for everyone.
Here's to them underneath that burning sun.
Do they know it's Christmas time at all?

Feed the world, feed the world, feed the world.
Let them know it's Christmas time again.
Feed the world.
Let them know it's Christmas time again.

The littlest Angel

ONCE UPON A TIME - many years ago as time is calculated by men But only yesterday in the Celestial calendar of heaven there was in Paradise a most miserable thoroughly unhappy and utterly dejected cherub who was known throughout heaven as "The Littlest Angel".

He was exactly four years, six months, five days, seven hours and forty-two minutes of age when he presented himself to the venerable Gatekeeper for admittance to the Glorious Kingdom of God.

Standing defiantly with his short legs wide apart, The Littlest Angel tried to pretend that he wasn't at all impressed by such Unearthly Splendor, and that he wasn't at all afraid. But his lower lip trembled and a tear disgraced him by making a new furrow down his already tear-streaked face - coming to a precipitous halt at the very tip of his small freckled nose.

But that wasn't all, while the kindly Gatekeeper was entering his name in the great Book, the littlest angel having left home as usual without a handkerchief endeavored to hide the tears by snuffing - a most unangelic sound which so unnerved the Gatekeeper that he did something he had never done before in all eternity. He blotted the page.

From that moment on the Heavenly Peace was never quite the same, and the Littlest Angel soon became the despair of all the Heavenly Host. His shrill ear-splitting whistle resounded at all hours through the Golden Streets. It startled the patriarch prophets and disturbed their meditation. On top of that, he vociferously sang off-key at the singing practice of the Heavenly Choir spoiling it's ethereal effect. And being so small that it seemed to take him twice as long as anyone else to get to nightly prayers, the Littlest Angel always arrived late and always knocked everyone's wings askew as he darted into his place.

Although these flaws and behaviors might have been overlooked, the appearance of the Littlest Angel was even most disreputable than his deportment. It was first whispered among the Seraphim and Cherubim, and then said aloud among the Angels and Archangels that he didn't even look like an angel!

And they were all correct, he didn't. His halo was tarnished where held on to it with one hot chubby hand when he ran and he was always 
running. Furthermore, even when he stood very still, it never behaved like a halo should. It was always slipping down over his eye or else, just for pure meanness, slipping off the back of his head and rolling away down some Golden Street - just so he would have to chase after it!

Yes, and it must be recorded that his wings were neither useful nor ornamental. All Paradise held it's breath when the Littlest Angel perched himself like an unhappy fledgling sparrow on the very edge of a gilded cloud and prepared to take off. He would teeter this way and that way - but, after much coaxing and a few false starts, he would shut both eyes, hold his freckled nose, count up to three hundred and three, and then hurl himself slowly into space!

However, owing to the regrettable fact that he always forgot to move his wings, the Littlest Angel always fell head over halo.

Now, anyone can easily understand why the Littlest Angel would, sooner or later have to be disciplined. And so, on an Eternal day, on an Eternal month, in the year Eternal he was directed to present his small self before an Angel of the Peace. The Littlest Angel combed his hair, dusted his wings and scrambled into an almost a clean robe, and then, with heavy heart trudged his way to the place of judgement. He tried to postpone the dreaded ordeal by loitering along the Street of the Guardian Angels, pausing a few timeless moments to study the long list of new arrivals although all Heaven knew he couldn't read a word. And he idled more than several immortal moments to examine a display of aureate harps, although everyone in the Celestial City knew he couldn't tell a crotchet from a semiquaver.

But at last he slowly approached a doorway which was surmounted by a pair of golden scales, signifying that Heavenly Justice was dispensed within. To the Littlest Angel's great surprise, he heard a merry voice, singing!

The Littlest Angel removed his halo and breathed upon it heavily, then polished it upon his robe, a procedure which added nothing to that garment's already untidy appearance, and then tiptoed in!

The Singer who was known as the Understanding Angel looked down at the small culprit, and the Littlest Angel instantly tried to make himself invisible by the ingenious process of withdrawing his head into the collar of his robe, very much like a snapping turtle.

At that, the Singer laughed, a jolly, heart-warming sound, and said, "Oh, so you're the one whose been making Heaven so unheavenly! Come here, cherub, and tell me all about it!"

The Littlest Angel looked furtively from beneath his robe. First one eye. And then the other eye.

Suddenly, almost before he knew it, he was perched on the lap of the Understanding Angel, and was explaining how very difficult it was for a boy who suddenly finds himself transformed into an angel. Yes, and no matter what the Archangel said, he's only swung once. Well, twice. Oh, alright, then, he'd swung three times on the Golden Gate. But that was just for something to do!

That was the whole trouble. There wasn't anything for a small angel to do. And he was very homesick. Oh, not that Paradise wasn't beautiful! But the Earth was beautiful, too! Wasn't it created by God Himself? Why, there were trees to climb, and brooks to fish, and caves to play at pirate chief, the swimming hole, and sun, and rain, and dark, and dawn, and thick brown dust, so soft and warm beneath your feet!

The Understanding Angel smiled, and in his eyes was a long forgotten memory of another small boy in a long ago. Then he asked the Littlest Angel what would make him most happy in Paradise. The Cherub thought for a moment, then whispered in his ear.

"There's a small box I left under my bed back home. If only I could have that!"

The Understanding Angel nodded. "You shall have it," he promised. And a fleet-winged Heavenly messenger was instantly dispatched to bring the box to Paradise.

And then, in all those timeless days that followed, everyone wondered at the great change in the Littlest Angel, for among all the cherubs in God's Kingdom, he was the most happy. His conduct was above reproach. His appearance was all that the most fastidious could wish for. And on excursions to the Elysian Fields, it could be truly said that he flew like an angel!

Then it came to pass that Jesus, the Son of God, was to be born of Mary at Bethlehem. And as the glorious tidings spread through Paradise, all the angels rejoiced and their voices were lifted to herald the Miracle of Miracles, the coming of the Christ child.

The Angels and the Archangels, the Seraphim and Cherubim, the Gatekeeper, the Wingmaker, even the Halosmith put aside their usual tasks to prepare gifts for the Blessed Infant. All but the Littlest Angel. He sat down on the top-most step of the Golden Stairs and anxiously waited for inspiration.

What could he give that would be most acceptable to the Son of God? At one time, he dreamed of composing a lyric hymn of adoration. But the Littlest Angel was woefully wanting in musical talent.

Then he grew tremendously excited over writing a prayer! A prayer that would live forever in the hearts of men, because it would be the first prayer ever to be heard by the Christ Child. But the Littlest Angel was lamentably lacking in literate skill.

"What, oh what, could a small angel give that would please the Holy Infant?..." The time of the miracle was very close at hand when the Littlest Angel at last decided on his gift. Then, on that Day of Days, he proudly brought it from it's hiding place behind a cloud, and humbly, with downcast eyes, placed it before the Throne of God. It was only a small, rough, unsightly box, but inside were all those wonderful things that even a Child of God would treasure!

A small, rough, unsightly box, lying among all those other glorious gifts from all the Angels of Paradise! Gifts of such radiant splendor and breathless beauty that Heaven and all the Universe were lighted by the mere reflection of their glory! And when the Littlest Angel saw this, he suddenly knew that his gift to God's Child was irreverent, and he wished he might reclaim his shabby gift.

It was ugly and worthless. If only he could hide it away from the sight of God before it was noticed!

But it was too late! The Hand of God moved slowly over all that bright array of shining gifts, then paused, then dropped, then came to rest - on the lowly gift of the Littlest Angel! The Littlest Angel trembled as the box was opened, and there, before the Eyes of God and all His Heavenly Hosts was what he offered to the Christ Child.

And what was his gift to the Blessed Infant? Well, there was a butterfly with golden wings, captured one bright summer day on the high hills above Jerusalem, and a sky blue egg from a bird's nest in the olive tree that shaded his mother's kitchen door. Yes, and two white stones, found on a muddy river bank, where he and his friends had played and, at the bottom of the box a limp, tooth-marked leather strap once worn as a collar by his mongrel dog, who had died as he had lived, in absolute love and infinite devotion.

The Littlest Angel wept hot and bitter tears, for he knew that instead of honoring the Son of God he had been most blasphemous. Why had he ever thought that the box was so wonderful? Why had he ever dreamed that such utterly useless things would be loved by the Blessed Infant?

In frantic terror, he turned to run and hide from the Divine Wrath of the Heavenly Father. But suddenly he stumbled and fell, and with a horrified wail and clatter of halo, he rolled in a ball of consummate misery to the very foot of the Heavenly Throne!

There was ominous and dreadful silence in the Celestial City, a silence complete and undisturbed save for the heartbreaking sobbing of the Littlest Angel. Then suddenly The Voice of God, like divine music, rose and swelled through Paradise! And the Voice spoke, saying:

"Of all the gifts of all the angels, I find that this small box pleases me most. It's contents are of the Earth and of men, and My Son is born to be King of both. These are the things that my Son, too, will know and love and cherish and then, regretfully will leave behind Him when His task is done.

"I accept this gift in the Name of the Child, Jesus, born of Mary this night in Bethlehem."

There was a breathless pause, and then the rough, unsightly box of the Littlest Angel began to glow with a bright, unearthly light, then the light became a lustrous flame, and the flame became a radiant brilliance that blinded the eyes of all the angels!

None but the Littlest Angel saw it rise from it's place before the Throne of God. And he, and only he, watched it arch the firmament to stand and shed it's clear, white, beckoning light over a Stable where a Child was born.

There is shown on that Night of Miracles, and it's light was reflected down the centuries deep in the heart of all mankind. Yet earthly eyes, blinded, too, by it's splendor, could never know that the lowly gift of the Littlest Angel was what all men would call forever: The shining star of Bethlehem.

 Glynn Braman

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